Understanding your role in the legal process
My heart goes out to NFL Player Ryan Moates and his family because of this powerfully unfortunate situate he recently went through. If you are not familiar with the siuation (and it’s very sad), check it out here: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4017382. Just to give a few brief background facts, Ryan was driving an SUV and ran a red light while en route to the hospital to take his wife to visit her mother (his mother in law) who was dying of breast cancer and only had a short period of time to live. Unfortunately, a police pulled them over in the parking lot. Despite several statements by Ryan, his wife, family members, another police, and a couple of medical personnel that the mother in law was indeed “on her death bed” and only had short time to live, the police still detained Ryan and his wife for 13 minutes so he could write them a ticket and lecture him about his attitude.
Despite being in what I would clearly call an EMOTIONALLY charged situation, Ryan kept his cool. Of course, we can talk about the significance of the event and how everything was handled by the police but this post is really more about RYAN! He handled himself EXCEPTIONALLY well. Towards the end of the lecture with the police, he was telling the officer ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’. How many of YOU could be that cool if your mother was upstairs dying?? (For the record, she had just died by the time the police let them go upstairs).
The point I want to illustrate with Ryan Moates behavior was that Ryan demonstrated his understanding of his role in the legal process. Had Ryan started cussing, getting belligerent or even walked away, his legal situation could have gotten infinitely WORSE!! So many times when we get fired up or emotionally charged about our legal situation, we don’t look at it from the big picture. Bear in mind, your role in the legal process is extremely crucial:
1) Contrary to popular situation, you can make your situation worse! Go ahead and get stank and tell everyone how you’re going to sue your employer and get all this paper. And you know what? Don’t get salty when those SAME people appear on the witness stand to testify how you were telling everyone that you were going to sue your employer and get this paper! What would YOU do if you hear this?? Also, in most situations, you have a duty to ‘mitigate’ your situation. For instance, if you get fired because of wrongful discharge, you can’t just sit on the couch and wait for your law suit to come through. You gotta look for a job!
2) I hope you didn’t think the other side was just going to sit there and take that beating from you! IT’s amazing how people think that when they use the legal process that the other side is just going to TAKE IT! Recognize, every body has the right to defend their position and utilize an attorney just as much as you. More important, if you thow a brick, don’t be made if they throw a concrete block back at you.
3) Look at the LEGAL situation and not your PERSONAL situation. So many times, when we are mad about something, we constantly look at ourselves as the victim. When you feel like this, you don’t want to hear about all of the consequences and scenario. We want vindication. We want revenge. We want someone to go down in flames. However, it is important to be able to stop and look at the whole situation from an objective standpoint so you don’t lose sight of the big picture.
4) Don’t expect anyone to keep FIXING the hole if you keep putting HOLES in the boat! So many times, people think that when they hire an attorney, this allows them the ability to do what the hell they want to during the legal process. Unfortunately, these same people may make their legal situation worse and when they do this, they expect their attorney to fix their situation (even when they are TOLD to NOT to do something). Remember, if you make your situation worse, don’t expect anyone to hang around to help you fix it.
Any legal situation is difficult but understand that you play a role in the process. You can help your situation but you can, also, hurt it. Play it cool and play it smart.
