I am always amazed how people who feel that they have some sense of entitlement or feel that they have a strong case or feel that you have DUTY and RESPONSIBILITY to help them tend to communicate these feelings in an aggressive manner.
In other words, I’m always amazed by people who are asking for help will get an ‘attitude’ when you don’t jump up and pay attention.
I know these words may seem over simplified and PLEASE don’t think that I am trying to insult ANYONE’s intelligence. However, you have to keep things in their proper perspective. When you are trying to ask someone to help you with a matter or situation that needs to be resolved, the last thing you want to do is walk into their office or their space and ACT like they need to ‘buck up and step right’!
Some of you may still be confused about what I am talking when I’m saying these things. Let me take it a step further. Anytime you are dealing with people who are providing professional services, you have to remember that they are professionals and they are offering to provide a service.
Remember, this is just an OFFER! They don’t HAVE to serve you. It really doesn’t help your situation or your case to walk around with your lip poked out or your chest poked out think that you are entitled to receive a certain amount of treatment or service just because YOU demand it.
Now, don’t get all bent of shape. I’m not saying that if you have a great case that you should be humble or that you should be shy. What I am saying is that you gotta be careful going into a meeting or discussion with a professional (like a doctor, mechanic, or attorney) and have this chip on your shoulder.
And for those of you who still may not understand why some professionals may not like to deal with an attitude, here are a few other things to consider:
1) If you got attitude now and you are ASKING for help, what makes you think you want have MORE attitude later. Think about it. Here you are asking for help and you got ALLLLLL kind of mouth! When you step to someone like that, there is no reason to believe it won’t get worse.
2) Life is filled with stress already so why should YOU add to it? I work with people all the time who are devastated by their financial situation. So I understand how stressful life can be. In all instances, I reiterate to people that I am THERE for them so they understand that I am a part of the solution and not the problem. However, some professionals have a lot of stress to deal with it and if YOU are going to add to that stress, then why should they bother?
3) You MIGHT be a NIGHTMARE! Sometimes, when you complain a lot or have an attitude about everything, this sends a HUGE message to the professional that you may have some unrealistic expectations about what you expect to have happen. As a result, this may be a problem because if you have it in your mind of what YOU expect to have happen (despite what is being told to you), you may make things more difficult for those who are trying to help you.
4) Just because I have a suit on doesn’t mean I am SOFT! Sometimes, we get into these positions where we believe that individuals who provide us services are weak. As a result, we feel the need to exert our influence on them to let them know that we will not be denied. However, don’t EVER think in your mind that just because someone is polite and articulate and has a suit that they can’t get JIGGY!! I knew an attorney who cussed someone out who was repeatedly rude to her despite her best efforts. After several visits, she clicked and he learned very fast that she was much more aggressive than he thought she was.
Now, I am not going to sit around here and act like I have never had an attitude about something. I have walked around with the hoochie and gotten live with people on more occasions than I probably should have. However, after almost 8 years of practicing law, I realize that you really get more out of people when you are kind as opposed to kinding being rude. Remember, if you don’t want anyone coming at you with attitude, what makes you think that they want attitude?
